Walking Disaster *UPDATED*

Although my mom will never admit it, I’m pretty sure my existence started as an accident. This awkward fact has set the tone for the rest of my life as I am the dictionary definition of accident-prone. I honestly wonder how I’m still alive after 31 years of hurting myself in the dumbest ways.

Case in point, I am currently typing this post by pecking the the keyboard with my right hand while elevating and icing my left hand. Wondering what’s wrong with my hand? I broke some blood vessels in my middle finger while engaging in the dangerous activity of WASHING DISHES. Now it’s swollen, throbbing, and a beautiful shade of blue. Hopefully, I can keep it under control and avoid going to the hospital to get it drained.

This hilariously lame injury has inspired me to share a few of the dumb shit that has sent me to the ER over the years.

One of my earliest and most severe accidents occurred when I was only a few years old. I broke my leg when the rug I was dancing on slipped from under my feet. According to my mom, the doctor at Detroit Children’s Hospital pulled her aside to ask if my dad hurt me because I managed to break my leg in a way that’s usually caused by child abuse. After she explained that I did it all on my own, I was wrapped up in a full-leg cast and sent home. These days, I turn into Debbie Downer and tell this story to my friends whenever I see their child dancing on a rug.

More recently, I fell down the stairs outside my apartment while carrying a box of garbage to the dumpster. I thought I reached the bottom step, but I was mistaken. I twisted my ankle, heard a loud pop, fell back, and the box of trash landed on me. No one was around to help me so I had to hobble to the dumpster and back up the stairs to my apartment. Fortunately, it was only a sprain but I had to take a six week break from running and couldn’t race the Big Sur Half Marathon that year. Shortly after my ankle healed, I sprained it again while crossing the street with the dog…

Then there was the bread knife incident… I was slicing a bagel with the awesome Shun bread knife I just received as a gift from my boyfriend. Like a moron, I was cutting toward my hand and sliced my palm. I’ve cut myself many times in the past without needing stitches but this was my first incident with a serrated knife. 30 minutes of pressure and elevation didn’t slow the bleeding so I relented and sought medical attention. My hand needed four stitches and six weeks to heal.

I also had the great fortune of getting a staph infection in my toe during a half ironman. I’m not sure how I caught it, but I do know that it was incredibly painful.

I’ve had so many dumb injuries in my life, I almost signed up for a twitter account last week for this:

Are you accident-prone?
What’s your dumbest injury?

*** UPDATE ***

My finger doesn’t look pretty today but the swelling is under control. No ER trip this time!

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Call Off The Search Party, I’m Still Alive!

Sorry for leaving you hanging over the last month, my friends. I didn’t plan on taking a break from blogging but unfortunately, I was dealing with a vicious cold and didn’t think you would be very interested in a series of “I feel like shit” posts every week. Now that I’m on the mend, I’ll recap the past four weeks of my life in one large “I felt like shit” summary so we can get back to smelling the roses and other pleasantries.

December 16 – December 22
The BF and I went back to Michigan for the week. My coach told me not to worry about training too much and just do whatever I could squeeze in. I planned to do easy runs on the days with nicer weather and swim at the high school on the crappier days. Unfortunately, the weather was terrible the whole time I was there so the high school was closed and the roads were pretty sketchy for running. In the end, I logged one slow and slippery 4-miler and went to two yoga classes with my BF’s mom.

December 23 – December 29
Miserably sick. I spent the whole week in bed binge-watching all seasons Parks and Rec in between naps.

December 30 – January 5
The chills, headache, and sore throat cleared up but I was still coughing nonstop. I had a major case of cabin fever from the previous week so I made the foolish decision to start working out again. It turns out that swimming with congested lungs and a hacking cough is really difficult, who knew?

On New Years Day, I joined a huge group of triathletes for an eight-mile trek at Rancho San Antonio. Most people ran but my friend and I opted for a brisk hike while decked out in festive accessories.

Happy New Year!

While most of the country was buried in snow, I took advantage of the California sunshine and did an easy 40 mile ride on Saturday. I was literally coughing the entire ride and was totally covered in my own snot by the end, but it felt great to be out of the house.

It’s time to ride

January 6 – January 12
I attempted to get back on my regular training schedule even though my cough had barely improved. During my Tuesday track workout, my splits were very slow and after a few intervals, my lungs revolted with painful fits of coughing. My coach cut me off and told me stop training until my cough cleared up. I burned a few sick days at work and spent the rest of the week in bed. After a couple days of rest, the cough was gone and I felt great.

Do you train when you’re sick or rest until you’re healthy?

IMCdA Training Summary: Week 11

Training and discipline took a back seat to gluttony this week. My mom visited me from New York for Thanksgiving so I felt guilty about the thought of leaving her for hours at a time to go for a long ride. I had grand plans of riding my trainer while we watched a movie, running at the track while she walked, and having her hang out in the hot tub while I was at Masters, but I ate way too much food to move from the couch.  I’ll have to start cracking the whip on myself to make sure I don’t make a habit of this laziness.

One of many food babies conceived this week

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Monday
2 hours of strength training

Tuesday
2 miles at the track
I just wasn’t feeling it so 12×400 became 5×400. The strange part is that despite feeling shitty and tired, I ran some of my fastest splits in months (1:52, 1:47, 1:43, 1:37, 1:37)
I also got to witness this!

Wednesday
Swim: 2,300 yards

Thursday
Stuffed my face and sat on my ass

Friday
More of the same.  For shame!

Saturday
5 mile hike

Sunday
Run: 10 miles and 800 ft elevation gain with this amazing view